Sisters

I've been thinking a lot about what my sisters are like.  Would we have been best friends?  Would I have been the annoying younger sister that just wanted to tag along? 

Having been the oldest child, with my brother barely a year younger than me and my sister, two and half years younger, I'm not sure what having a sibling several years older than me would be like.  I'm pretty close to Mike and Julie, but we grew up together - putting puzzles together in the basement, arguing with our parents to get a cat, walking to elementary school six blocks away.  Now, Mike & I play floor hockey together on Sundays.  Julie and I talk regularly and have our normal sisterly "discussions".  I can't imagine my life without them in it. 

Although I will never know, I wonder how my life would be different with two older sisters.  I'm curious if we would have a relationship like Julie and I have.  If we would be best friends one day and arguing about petty things the next.  If I couldn't wait to see them again if they moved away and if I would plan trips to visit them in Spain or New Jersey.  Would they have taught me how to put on make-up or what was the most fashionable style?  Would they comfort me if I was having boy trouble?

I'm curious what they look like and if I will look like them.  Are they tall and slender (that means I can get there with my diet!) or am I the tallest?  I always thought I was a taller Korean growing up.  I was in the back row in pictures in elementary school.  Gone are those days and now I stand in the front row or two in the MN Chorale.  I wear heels in hopes that I might end up in the next row up.  Do they have straight hair and brown eyes?

Another thought that weighs heavily on my mind is if they even know that I was born alive.  Or, did my birth parents, in the effort to avoid questions, tell them that I had died?  I hope they will be happy to meet me, but they could be too shocked or ashamed that our parents carried that lie with them.  Maybe my birth parents won't tell them that I am searching for them. 

I pray that I will be able to meet them in June or some day. 

Letter to My Birth Family

Below is the letter that I sent to Eastern to share with my birth family:

Hello!  My name is Sara Ann Pogorely and I’m your daughter.  I’m 32 years old.  It’s hard to believe that I will be coming to Korea in June.  It’s my hope that we will be able to meet.  I grew up in Minnesota in a wonderful family.  I had the chance to learn to play many instruments and music is a large part of my life.  I sing in several choirs.  I also love to play sports and regularly play soccer.  I went to school and have a degree in music.  I used to be a choir director, but now work for Target Corporation in merchandising.  I was married in December of 2008, to a wonderful man, Nate.  We have two cats and a townhouse in the suburbs in Minnesota.  It is our hope to buy a house in the near future and start a family of our own.  It is my dream to meet you, but if that is not possible, I want to thank you for the chance you gave me to live.  I have had many wonderful opportunities and hope that you have had the same.  I think of you often and wonder if we are alike.  Please consider meeting me. 

Love, Sara Ann Pogorely (Whang, Hee Jung)

When I began my search for my birth family, one of the things the agency requested was a letter to my birth family.  This is to help them know who you are today.  How does one summarize their life and desire to meet in one short paragraph?  I don't think the above is necessarily a good representation of what I want to tell them, but it was the best I could come up with at the time.

Writing this letter turned out to be more difficult than I thought.  If they are able to be located, what would my letter say that would get them to say, "We have to meet her!"?  My initial sheet of paper had a lot of text crossed out.  How personal should I get?  Should I tell them where I worked?  What I like to do?  How much history do I include?  How simple does it need to be to be able to be translated accurately?  I don't want to sound like I am begging to meet them; but the fact is, that if it would help to sound desperate, I would change the letter in a minute.  I felt like it was almost like writing a cover letter for a new job - show enough passion, but don't seem desperate or they won't want to interview you. 

It seems funny to think of it like that, but the thought is there: "If they think I'm good enough, they will want to meet me.  If they don't get that I've been successful or am otherwise happy, they won't want to meet."  Again, how do you send this over in a short paragraph?  Maybe I should send a second letter that is longer and has more details.