A Tale of Two Stories

Once I sent my in paperwork to begin the search, I didn't know what I would find.  Would we be able to locate anyone?  How long would it take to hear anything?  I had had several friends search out their families with mixed results.  I had the supposed names of my birth parents on my adoption forms - they had been typed, had white-out over them, and "Confidential" stamped over that.  I guess whoever did that didn't mind that I could hold the sheet up to the light and read through the back side.  Another friend had searched for her birth family and found that the names she had (same situation) were not the correct names of her birth parents.  I'm not putting a ton of stock in them yet.  If they are accurate, a neighbor of my family who was from Korea told me the names were somewhat unique.  I remember standing outside by the garden with the names re-written on a post-it note, asking her about them. 

The other information contained in my American File is summarized below:

My Birth Certificate says I was born in Seoul on December 16, 1978 with the name of Whang, Hee Jung.  I have no records of my birth parents' information on my Birth Certificate.  In regards to my "Pre-Flight Report", it says: "She is fed with 250cc of milk mixing with cooked rice gruel every 4 hours, and takes the half-boiled yolk", "She babbles and laughs well", "She turns her body over and moves by stretching her back and legs.  She gets to know her milk-bottle and heads her hands for bottle.  She can stand up erectly well on someone's laps.  If someone has her sit down, then she can do for allittle (sic) while.  She likes to be held her foster mother's arms.  She is a cute and bright Korean baby girl." 

From Birth to Dec. 17, 1978, I was at Oh's Maternity Home in Seoul, and from Dec. 17, 1978, to the time that I left for America I was at Eastern Child Welfare Society, Inc. Angel Babies Home.  On my questionnaire, the names of my birth parents are typed and whited-out. This document says they were 28 and 24-years old and unmarried. 

Perhaps, the most fun to read was my Narrative Case History.  I won't type it all here, but highlight the parts that I find intriguing:

• "This child, Whang, Hee Jung, is a 25 day old, cute and lovely full Korean baby girl with black hair, black eyes and white skin." 
• "The baby was referred to our agency for adoption by her biological mother on Dec. 17, 1978, because the mother was very poor and couldn't raise her baby by herself.  And she wanted the baby to be sent into a good and happy family."
• "The baby's name was given by our worker.  Whang is the father's family name, the first name Hee means joyful and the middle name Jung stands for calm.  We want the baby to grow as a beautiful and noble lady in her future."
• To paraphrase my birth parents' story according to the case history, they were not married and had separated due to characteristic problems.  He was in the army in Vietnam and his parents were opposed to their relationship.  After they separated, she knew of her pregnancy, but did not know how to find him.  It tells their height and blood type, specifics that seem out of place in a document that otherwise only gives basic information on my birth parents.

While talking to Nate, I started to tell him of the risks of searching and the likelihood that we would not be able to find any of my birth family.  He had just assumed that we would meet them when we arrived in Korea on our tour in June.  In truth, I actually felt that there would be less than 50% chance of me finding anyone.  At the time I was adopted in the late 70's, there were few records kept.  I had the papers from my parents from my American file.  I had no clue what information they may or may not have in Korea. 

I was about to find out.

On February 2, 2011, I received an email from Jan Dunn at Dillon with the information they received from my Korean File.  It couldn't be more different than what I had thought my entire life!  This letter I will include almost in full.  I will only leave out a few particularly identifying notes. 

Here is the background information about the adoptee:
The birth parents were married and had two daughters aged 8 and 7 at the time of intake. The birth father was 33 years old and the birth mother was 29 years old at that time. The birth father is the only son to his parents and his parents wanted to have a grandson. The birth mother had pressure to give birth to a son and was worried after she gave birth to the adoptee. The birth parents had full consideration about the adoptee and decided to refer the adoptee for adoption because of the high expectation his parents had. At that time they were going to tell a lie to his parents that the baby died after birth.

Birth father: After high school graduation, he joined the military army and was deployed to Vietnam in 1968. When he was in Vietnam, he received a comforting letter from a girl and the girl was the birth mother. (Sara Ann, it was common for schools in Korea to encourage students to write letters to soldiers who were serving in the Vietnam War). Since then they kept in touch by letters. After discharged from military service, the birth father met the birth mother in 1969. The birth parents lived together and later registered their marriage and had a wedding ceremony. He is 175cm in height and his religion is Catholic. He tends to be smart. He is thoughtful and cheerful.

Birth mother: After graduating from high school, she stayed at home and helped the household. She is 163cm in height and her religion is Catholic. She is good natured and calm. The birth parents hoped the adoptee is placed through overseas. They were very sad and had hard time at the time of referring the baby for adoption.

The adoptee was born at 7:20 pm on Dec. 16, 1978. The birth weight of the adoptee is 3.2kg.

We have the names of the birth parents and their ages but no ID numbers for them. Therefore, it would not be easy to locate the current information about the birth parents. However, the names of the birth parents are not common in Korea and there might be a little possibility of locating them if we attempt to search through a police station, I think. If the adoptee wants further search by a police station, we will contact the police station and ask them to do it.


The stories are quite different.  My birth parents are married.  I'm not the oldest - I have two sisters (at least).  As is common, they were hoping for a son.  They met very romantically - writing letters during the Vietnam war.  I know what time I was born (something I have always wondered, since I'm a night person) and how much I weighed.

You may ask how I am dealing with the new information.  How I feel about being the one given up.  My response is that I'm doing quite well.  But, I will get into the emotions of this information another time.  I know that God does everything for a reason, sending me to Minnesota, included.  My parents had prayed for a child for a long time and I was the answer to their prayers. 

Rather than a 50% chance of finding them, I might up the chances in my head to 70%.  I still have to be realistic, but they have names that are less common and the authorities know some more information about them than just their names.  I had asked how often the Korean File is inaccurate - answer, not often.  Now I'm just pondering the similarities and differences between the two and preparing myself for the next step in the search: waiting.  Will we be able to meet them when we arrive in Korea?  I will be hearing if there is any progress in my search every two weeks or so.  If you know me, you know patience is NOT one of my virtues.